Häät ovat täynnä onnea ja rakkautta, mutta niiden järjestäminen ei aina ole yhtä juhlaa. Kysyimme morsiamilta, mikä hääjärjestelyissä stressaa ja pyysimme avuksi parhaimmat asiantuntijat. Fitness-valmentaja Jutta Gustafsbergin, varallisuusvalmentaja Terhi Majasalmen, logoterapeutti Elina Tanskasen ja ratkaisukeskeinen valmentaja Anna Perhon neuvoilla selvität hääsuunnittelun äkilliset alamäet.
Artikkelin kolmannessa osassa ratkotaan parisuhdekemioita, kun morsiamesta on tullut bridezilla ja sulhasesta vetäytyvä:
”Olen todella innostunut tulevista häistämme. Vietän paljon aikaa Pinterestissä, suunnittelen ja organisoin, sekä askartelen. Häiden järjestäminen vie kaiken vapaa-aikani ja nyt sulhanen sai sanotuksi, etten vietä hänen kanssaan aikaa enää ollenkaan. Hänen mielestään minusta on tullut bridezilla. Minua taas raivostuttaa, kun miestä ei tunnu kiinnostavan mikään häihin liittyvä. Riitelemme häistä jatkuvasti.”
Logoterapeutti ja erityistason seksuaaliterapeutti (NACS) Elina Tanskanen vastaa:
Parille todennäköisesti tyypillinen suhdedynamiikka on nostamassa päätään. Nyt jo pinnalla olevasta konfliktista voi syntyä negatiivinen kehä, jota kummankin toimintatapa, morsiamen hyökkääminen ja sulhasen vetäytyminen, vain vahvistaa. Tilanteen kärjistyessä suhteen osapuolet voivat pahimmassa tapauksessa kääntyä toisiaan vastaan. Tilanteeseen kannattaa ehdottomasti tarttua, jotta pari löytää takaisin samalle puolelle.
Morsiamen kannattaisi miettiä, mitä häät hänelle merkitsevät ja mitä odotuksia häihin liittyy? Kontrollin tarve ja täydellisyyden tavoittelu voivat olla yksi tapa kanavoida omaa – hyvin ymmärrettävää – ahdistusta niistä asioista, joihin ei voi vaikuttaa. On tärkeää tulla tietoiseksi omista odotuksistaan ja uskomuksista niiden takana. Kuinka paljon mukana on pitäisi-ajattelua, missä voisi ottaa rennommin ja miten se onnistuisi? Mitä tapahtuu, jos kaikki ei menekään, niin kuin olet suunitellut? Joskus morsian saattaa myös huomata täyttävänsä jonkun muun toiveita kuin omiaan. Tällöin kannattaisi miettiä, miten juhlista voisi saada enemmän parin itsensä näköiset.
Seuraavassa artikkelissa jatkamme toisen tulevan hääparin parisuhdepulman ratkomista!
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