Häätanssimme oli hääpäivämme ohjelman selvästi vähiten suunniteltu ja valmisteltu osuus, johon meillä myös kohdistui vähiten odotuksia. Samuli ei periaatteesta tanssi julkisesti lainkaan ja olisi mieluiten jättänyt tanssin ohjelmasta kokonaan pois. Minä kuitenkin halusin ehdottomasti edes jonkinlaisen häätanssin, vaikka se olisi vain ala-asteen diskon tyylistä sylikkäin keinahtelua, ja Samuli antoi pitkin hampain periksi.
Kappaleeksi valitsimme jo vuosia ennen häitä John Legendin kappaleen All of Me. Meillä ei ole ollut varsinaista omaa kappaletta, mutta eräällä lomamatkalla Yhdysvalloissa kuuntelimme ihanan päivän ja ihanan ravintolaillallisen päätteeksi kadunkulmassa katusoittajan tulkintaa All of Mestä, ja sen kertosäkeen sanat kolahtivat silloin minuun kovaa. Kertosäe kuvaa kokonaisvaltaista rakkautta, jossa kaksi ihmistä rakastaa jopa toistensa huonoja puolia, ja sillä hetkellä tuntui voimakkaasti siltä, että olimme Samulin kanssa löytäneet toistemme kanssa sellaisen rakkauden.
Häittemme musiikista vastasi DJ, joten saimme kappaleen alkuperäisversion juuri sellaisena, kuin olimme kuulleet sen lukuisia kertoja radiosta. Emme kuitenkaan tajunneet tarkistaa, miten pitkä kappale on – ja se on yli viisiminuuttinen. Häätanssistamme olisi hyvin helposti voinut tulla täysi katastrofi, sillä viisi minuuttia on todella pitkä aika heilua lähekkäin ilman minkäänlaista koreografiaa tai edes yritystä ottaa varsinaisia tanssiaskelia, varsinkin jos yksi osapuoli kokee koko tilanteen alun perinkin kiusaannuttavaksi.
Lapsemme kuitenkin tekivät häätanssistamme yhden illan kohokohdista, jonka aikana vieras jos toinenkin vuodatti liikutuksen kyyneliä. Lapsemme ovat kaksoset, tyttö ja poika, häiden aikaan 3,5-vuotiaat. Suloisimmillaan he ovat toisiaan kohtaan todella helliä ja rakastavia. Juuri ennen häätanssimme alkua he keksivät alkaa halailla toisiaan.
Koska kolmivuotiaat ovat arvaamattomia, emme olleet yrittäneet suunnitella heidän osallistuvan loppuillasta tapahtuvaan ohjelmanumeroon, mutta lapset päättivät spontaanisti tulla tanssiin mukaan. Ensin yksi kiipesi syliimme ja sitten toinen, ja tanssimme hyvän tovin koko perhe neljästään niin, että halasimme kaikki toisiamme. Kirkossa en ollut vuodattanut ensimmäistäkään kyyneltä, mutta siinä hetkessä kyyneliä valui senkin edestä.
Myös kappaleen kertosäe sai mielessäni lisämerkityksen: all of me loves all of you ei tarkoittanutkaan ainoastaan sitä, että rakastan joka solullani ihan kaikkea Samulissa, vaan myös sitä, että rakastan kokonaisvaltaisesti ja kaiken nielevästi heitä kaikkia kolmea, minun ihmeellisen ihanaa pientä perhettäni, jotka vuosien odotuksen, unelmoinnin ja surunkin jälkeen sain kuin ihmeen kaupalla omakseni.
Häätanssin kautta sain jakaa kaiken sen onnen rakkaitten sukulaisteni ja ystävieni kanssa, jotka tietävät hyvin, miten pitkän ja kivuliaan tien olin kulkenut päästäkseni siihen, pakahduttavan rakkaiden oman aviomiehen ja omien lasten syleilyyn. Pystyin aistimaan, että ympärillemme kerääntynyt ihmisjoukko ymmärsi hetken merkityksen. Jos minun olisi pakko nimetä vain yksi yksittäinen lempihetki hääpäivästämme, se olisi juuri tuo.
Kun lapsemme halusivat pois sylistä, he alkoivat tanssia paritanssia keskenään. Kukaan ei ole sitä heille opettanut, mutta heille oli täysin luontaista tarttua toisiaan molemmista käsistä ja pyörähdellä tanssilattialla äidin ja isin vieressä. Ja siinä me tanssimme kaikki neljä aina viisiminuuttisen kappaleen loppuun asti.
Häätanssi on yksi rakkaimmista muistoistani ihanasta päivästämme.
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